Life’s Most Amazing Experiences… ♥ ♫♪

Here’s a wonderful article from my amazing Diane……

Isn’t life completely amazing? I look back over the last 7 years at some of the lessons that have had such a powerful impact on the way I now embrace life. I know without doubt that I, like you, am an incredible human being, connected to everyone and everything around me, with the power to create my life.

Fear is disabling, and if it’s present in your energy, then it doesn’t matter what you want to create, whether it’s a loving relationship, a new job or a successful business – the beliefs you have which cause your fear are what will tend to expand in your life. People can often see and feel the fear in you, although they can’t always pinpoint exactly why, somehow it comes through on a subconscious level. Over the last few years I chose to step through each and every fear that held me back, changing every aspect of my life beyond recognition. The only thing that now feels fearful to me is the thought of lying on my deathbed many years from now, looking back with regret at how unfulfilled my life has been, wishing I’d had the courage to play full out and achieve my true potential. That thought is far more frightening than stepping through any fear now…

There is no failure, rejection or disapproval in life, absolutely not – all of these things are ego driven and created within our own minds. I gave up worrying about what others thought about me years ago (such a burden lifted!), and therein disappeared any concept of failure in my life. In fact, making mistakes is an essential part of growing and learning, and the only people who ‘fail’ are those who refuse to step out of their comfort zones for fear of being judged, and then ironically sit in judgement of others who step up and out. Fact – if you choose to live your life through someone else’s eyes and expectations, then you will always be in fear, and you will certainly never experience true happiness.

I learned, with astonishing impact, how much my beliefs formed my experience of life. When I told myself I could achieve something, then miraculously, I could. So I changed my beliefs and embraced every challenge. I now live my life without limits. I realised that blaming others is giving away my power and any control over my experience of life. So I chose to take full responsibility for my emotions, regardless of the behaviour of others – after all, their behaviour is their stuff and they’re quite entitled to have it, without judgement from me.

I learned that my experience of any relationship, intimate and otherwise, was a direct reflection of my relationship with myself. I realised that trying to be what I felt others expected of me was in fact, simply a form of imitation love, which could only leave me in a place of fear… because what if that imitation love wasn’t returned?

Learning how to forgive by looking back over my past and finding lessons and gifts in every experience is the most empowering gift – I learned to thank those people who had caused me pain; they had become my greatest teachers by giving me the most incredible opportunities to master my emotions. Without them, I wouldn’t be teaching today and living life to the full.

I learned just how vital it is to love myself unconditionally. The moment I began to love myself, the more love I had to give and share with others. I was also able to receive more love. But then it’s not surprising really, because no one can love you more than you love yourself. You teach others exactly how to love and treat you by how you love and treat yourself. Yet most of us think that we’re being good and kind by putting ourselves last, whilst eventually secretly harbouring resentment.

I have learned that happiness truly is inside of me… it is not created by anything on the outside. By walking away from a majority of the material possessions I owned, I realised first hand that everything can be taken away except what is on the inside. Within this experience was the most beautiful lesson in acceptance. Now, I feel no fear in my ability to stand alone in this world, knowing without doubt that I can, and will, handle anything… and it was in truly knowing that I am capable of standing alone, that I found the most beautiful relationship and realised that I was the furthest from being alone that I could ever be.

I learned how to go from being in a loving relationship with myself, into being in a loving relationship with another. It was through the ups and downs that the most beautiful and powerful lessons were learned, which ultimately strengthened us beyond words. With Andy, I learned the essence of what it takes to create a deeply loving relationship – a Soul Mate relationship – which I now know without doubt is something that we can all create, not something we stumble upon when we meet someone who makes our heart skip a beat.

Essentially, I realised with absolutely certainty that I create my life – no longer does life simply ‘happen’ to me. Those events that are destined and not within my control, well, I can choose how to respond to them – with love or with fear. I choose love now, because I see what happens when I choose to respond with fear instead.

My truth is this: – I can choose to step out of my comfort zone as often as I wish, I can choose to step through fear, I can choose to have empowering beliefs, I can choose to allow others to hurt me, I can choose how to respond to any situation, I can choose to take responsibility for my life and my emotions, I can choose to be in great energy…… I can choose to create the life of my dreams… or… I can blame others for making my life unhappy. And even as I write that last sentence, I truly trust that you will connect with how ridiculous the latter option is.

I choose happiness… and now, I cannot see any aspect of my life that I do not create. Empowering beyond words!

Di xx

Does Cosmic Ordering Work?

Obviously we firmly believe that it does and experience this every day in our lives. Yet, we know it is a contentious subject and not everyone believes it can or does work for them.  These very beliefs are in fact the crux of the issue, for what you believe has a huge hand in creating your experience of reality.

We all very much manifest and create our realities – it is like they are virtual realities, not hard wired destiny or set in stone. If you look at the word belief… be[LIE]f you see inside every belief is a lie – there are no absolute truths.

So does Cosmic Ordering work? Journalist AnneMarie Flannagan attended our Cosmic Ordering workshop earlier this year and was able to manifest more work, an unexpected holiday, feeling calmer and improved relationships. You can read about her experinces in the August issues of Soul & Spirit magazine, out now in newsagents.

Andy & Di are Keynote Speakers at The Divorce Show

We will be appearing at The Divorce Show as keynote speakers on September 11-13th at The NEC, Birmingham, where we are also delighted to announce a world first!! We are launching a brand new workshop: ‘The Feel The Fear Guide to Lasting Love‘ based on the excellent work of Susan Jeffers in her book of the same name, plus top advice from Susan’s other relationship books: ‘Dare To Connect’ and ‘Opening Our Hearts To Men’. As licensed and approved trainers for Susan’s most famous book ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway®’ and as experienced relationship coaches in our own right, we are delighted to be able to bring you Susan’s unique, insightful and invaluable views on relationships.

The UK has one of the world’s highest rates of divorce, with around 140,000 married couples going through it each year. For some, it can be a relief. But for very many, it is a shattering ordeal. The Divorce Show 2009 is the UK’s largest national event dedicated to delivering a wealth of information, helpful advice and practical resources for those simply questioning their marital status or wanting to repair a relationship breakdown to those initiating divorce or beginning life again after legal separation.

Di’s Journey – The Lessons…..

Hello fellow bloggers!  Di here…. I trust this finds you well and happy in this rather snowy weather…

I’m deeply inspired to write today, it’s been just over a year since I took the biggest leap of faith in my life.  I packed my car with my most treasured belongings, which when it came down to it, were one suitcase of clothes, my personal development books, my motivational CD’s and my Border Collie….. and drove 500 miles south to start again at the age of 40.

Did I feel the fear and do it anyway….. absolutely…in fact, I felt pretty terrified!  I left behind a home I’d built and designed overlooking mountains and sea, a well established business, 20 years worth of personal possessions, the treasured piano my Dad had built for me, all my friends, a large Egyptology collection…. literally ‘lifting’ myself out of my life of 20 years in the Highlands and plonking myself firmly into a brand new life in Warwickshire with a brand new partner.  I had no idea whether we would work or not…. It really was a leap of faith, a following of instincts, a trusting in life….. so I stepped through my fears and took that leap into the unknown……

My journey into personal development actually began 6 years ago when I reached what felt like the lowest place I could reach emotionally. I had the word ‘Victim’ clearly tattooed across my forehead.  I remember one Sunday, my mother saying to me “Right, you need to buy this new book!”, and so I went out and bought it, along with a 30 minute hypnotherapy CD.  After listening to the CD just once and reading a few pages, my body and mind felt different…. Was this exciting? You Bet!  And so my journey began…

Within one year of starting to read personal development books, instilling positive affirmations and investing time in myself to learn and grow, I fell deeply in love with myself as a person, the kind of love where you trust your own instincts and know that you can handle anything life throws at you. I remember getting out of bed one morning, glancing at myself in a mirror and catching my own eyes.  I said out loud, and it came from nowhere! “Oh my God, you can achieve anything you want with your life!”…the difference here, is that this was the first time in my life that I believed it 100%… that day I booked a hotel conference room to hold my first ever workshop…there was no going back.  My positive thinking had become part of my identity….. so, was it worth it?  YES, YES, YES!!!  It certainly changed my life!  My life’s purpose had suddenly been lit like a flame inside me that could not be extinguished…

Over the years I set up a very successful practise, which quickly developed into motivational speaking, evening classes, support group and workshops.  I felt so alive, so on fire, when I worked that the thought of not doing this full time was utterly ludicrous to me….. My enthusiasm must have come through in abundance in my work, because it took a relatively short period of time before I was able to live my dream full time….

The difference here was that I truly stepped into my future, claiming it as my own.  I believed absolutely and utterly ….nothing could stop me from living my life’s purpose…
 
I handed my notice in at my full time post of 14 years with the local government on 6 August 2007 – exactly one month before my 40th birthday.  Inside me was the belief that life begins at 40, and so it did.  My last day of being an employee and working for anyone other than myself, was 18 months ago on my 40th birthday.  I went out into the big wide world, I mean REALLY went out into the real world with the belief that no matter what happened, I could succeed with the love and enthusiasm that was living and breathing inside me …..

To me now, the only fear I have in life is the thought of lying on my deathbed many years from now, looking back and wondering why I hadn’t given myself the chance to be everything I could be…. there is simply no failure in my experience of life, even on those occasions when I have fallen…. They are only opportunities to learn, feedback to help us improve, the Universe guiding us in a different direction instead, one which we’re not quite aware of yet….If something doesn’t work for me, then I simply trust that this is the way it is meant to be… somewhere hidden within it, will be the lesson I have to learn.

Over those 6 years, I learned so much and my journey will never end – I am so excited by the thought of continually expanding my mind and challenging my own beliefs until my last breath….so far, each step of my journey has been the logical next step, overcoming fear, followed by learning all about beliefs, the law of attraction, studying the science behind our thoughts, how they effect our biological state and health as well as our mind…then how our energy connects to everything and everyone around us …WOW!  I now sense, feel and see energy around me, and can understand perfectly within just a few minutes of speaking with someone, how and why their lives are exactly the way they are.  I see wonderful things flow towards me when I’m feeling great, and I see everything come to a standstill when I feel low… Thank you Universe, for this incredible gift…

If I had planned the unfolding of my journey this way, I simply couldn’t have done it…. the story just seemed to magically open up as I gave myself to it.

The realisation that I create the outcomes in my life depending on my beliefs and how I choose to respond to any situation is so empowering to me…. no longer does life simply happen to me, it is mine to create.  I can’t always choose what will happen in my life, but I can certainly choose how I allow it to effect me, I can choose the moments where I can respond with love instead of fear or anger, and watch in amazement as to how that changes what comes back into my life.  Learning the power of forgiveness, learning how to give love in the face of hate and anger and how to learn from every situation in life, are the biggest blessings imaginable.  I no longer carry the burden of blaming anyone else for how I feel… it is literally like having a weight lifted.  When this change first occurred, my energy lifted, my head felt light, and I began to have an uncontrollable urge to extend love and give wherever I could…

The realisation that my beliefs formed the entire experience of my life, in other words, what I choose to focus became my reality, well, this is so exciting to me that I find it difficult to put into words. For instance, take 5 people, all with different beliefs, ask them to walk down any high street together, then ask them what they saw – they will all have a completely different experience of exactly the same thing depending on what they are focusing on and what their beliefs are. WOW! Focus and beliefs = reality!  The journey over these 6 years has been inspirational to me, to the point of living in awe some days, I have cried with joy on countless occasions…

And so, over this last year, my journey has stepped up a gear and gone into overdrive!  Take a very independent and positive young lady (me of course!), remove her from absolutely everything she knows….put her in a home that doesn’t belong to her, in a place surrounded by cities as opposed to mountains, no well-acquainted friends, very few personal possessions of her own, living and working with her new partner 24/7, a complete change in diet incorporating raw food and veggie juicing, all chemical-free products…..

Along with that, a wonderful little brother who is undergoing treatment for cancer, a fantastic Mum who also had to overcome cancer, and a not at all well 14 year old Border Collie who is rapidly going downhill….. all of this in one year….

So, what did I learn?. Well truthfully, it’s more a case of what didn’t I learn!…. I’m still learning and always will be, but here are a few snippets of the key points which have affected me most…

• Happiness truly is inside of you…. you can take everything you know out of your life, and you can still feel happiness…. this was a gift that I treasure, and has helped me to instil so much trust in myself.  It is all inside of me…… ‘home’ is inside of me……
• Not knowing whether I would lose my brother, Mum and little dog all in one year was something I had to handle, so the Universe provided me with the ultimate lesson in acceptance.  I learned that going into victim mode over these things was focusing the attention on me and not giving the love inside me to those who needed it most…. So I learned to give an abundance of love, rather than curl up in grief… people who need our love during these times can feel our energy, so it is kinder to give love while they are alive and to grieve after they have gone….
• I learned how to share myself with a new partner, to adapt to new ways of doing things and new ways of being…. I learned how to teach him and how to be taught by him.  I learned how to argue too!  It wasn’t an easy journey for either of us, but we gained more knowledge and understanding in our relationship than we could ever gain from any book ….we become wiser through our experiences and how we chose to handle them. It has been one amazing journey! 
• I’ve learned to stand back and observe… I now understand that when my ego is removed from a situation, I can listen, hear and respond clearly and with love….
• I remember a period when I felt particularly low for a couple of weeks and I’m horrified to say that I actually fell out of love with myself.  I learned how shocking it felt to me, how painful my body and mind felt during those couple of weeks, how difficult and undeserving I found it to accept love from anyone, yet at the same time how needy I became for my lack of love in myself to be filled by others.  Andy was quite horrified by the change in me to be completely honest! It was such a clear reminder of not only how I used to feel every day 6 years ago, but how most of my clients feel when they come for help.  Thank you Universe for that invaluable lesson…. I shan’t forget it in a hurry!
• I have learned to look at any situation and connect only with what I can learn from it…. for instance, Andy and I had an argument one night several months ago, it was a tough one!  We actually agreed to go our separate ways that night (until morning, when we made up!)…. However, I will always remember sitting in the living room with a cuppa, thinking to myself “Well, I’m 40 and homeless”, and here’s the thing…. I was unafraid.  Realising that I felt no fear about the situation was a gift that I treasure beyond words.  I truly realised how far I had come in that one moment….

There are gifts in life no matter where we look….no matter what we are going through, the gift is inside us…. it is always there, it is simply a matter of finding it and connecting with it….

Over this last year, so many amazing things have come into our lives that there are days I stand back in amazement.  With a sense of trust and no fear about the future, without any attachment to particular outcomes, I have finally learned how to truly give myself to life….

One of our close friends said to me recently “If you had set out to achieve so much over the course of the year it would have felt like a daunting task!” He was right!  I guess I’d never actually taken the time to sit down and realise how much had come to us in 12 short months…..isn’t it incredible what opens up when we give ourselves and life the chance? I could never have achieved any of this without having had the courage to step out of my comfort zone first.

Thank you Universe, for the way in which you have unfolded my incredible journey in life….

For always knowing what page needed to be turned next…..

For giving me the wisdom to learn from life, rather than to be a victim of it….

For helping me to understand the part I play in every experience of my life, and for accepting responsibility for them without blaming myself or others..

For helping me understand that my journey will never end…

Thank you for the magic and miracles, and for the wonderful people you have brought into my life… 

Thank you for teaching me how to love…

Feel The Fear workshop for women entrepreneurs in London

Andy and Di are pleased and proud to be representing Susan Jeffers at Women Unlimited, where we will be presenting ‘Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway^®‘ to female entrepreneurs in London on 25th November. Click here for details and booking. The event price is £45 which includes a copy of the ‘Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway^®‘ book.