Life’s Most Amazing Experiences… ♥ ♫♪

Here’s a wonderful article from my amazing Diane……

Isn’t life completely amazing? I look back over the last 7 years at some of the lessons that have had such a powerful impact on the way I now embrace life. I know without doubt that I, like you, am an incredible human being, connected to everyone and everything around me, with the power to create my life.

Fear is disabling, and if it’s present in your energy, then it doesn’t matter what you want to create, whether it’s a loving relationship, a new job or a successful business – the beliefs you have which cause your fear are what will tend to expand in your life. People can often see and feel the fear in you, although they can’t always pinpoint exactly why, somehow it comes through on a subconscious level. Over the last few years I chose to step through each and every fear that held me back, changing every aspect of my life beyond recognition. The only thing that now feels fearful to me is the thought of lying on my deathbed many years from now, looking back with regret at how unfulfilled my life has been, wishing I’d had the courage to play full out and achieve my true potential. That thought is far more frightening than stepping through any fear now…

There is no failure, rejection or disapproval in life, absolutely not – all of these things are ego driven and created within our own minds. I gave up worrying about what others thought about me years ago (such a burden lifted!), and therein disappeared any concept of failure in my life. In fact, making mistakes is an essential part of growing and learning, and the only people who ‘fail’ are those who refuse to step out of their comfort zones for fear of being judged, and then ironically sit in judgement of others who step up and out. Fact – if you choose to live your life through someone else’s eyes and expectations, then you will always be in fear, and you will certainly never experience true happiness.

I learned, with astonishing impact, how much my beliefs formed my experience of life. When I told myself I could achieve something, then miraculously, I could. So I changed my beliefs and embraced every challenge. I now live my life without limits. I realised that blaming others is giving away my power and any control over my experience of life. So I chose to take full responsibility for my emotions, regardless of the behaviour of others – after all, their behaviour is their stuff and they’re quite entitled to have it, without judgement from me.

I learned that my experience of any relationship, intimate and otherwise, was a direct reflection of my relationship with myself. I realised that trying to be what I felt others expected of me was in fact, simply a form of imitation love, which could only leave me in a place of fear… because what if that imitation love wasn’t returned?

Learning how to forgive by looking back over my past and finding lessons and gifts in every experience is the most empowering gift – I learned to thank those people who had caused me pain; they had become my greatest teachers by giving me the most incredible opportunities to master my emotions. Without them, I wouldn’t be teaching today and living life to the full.

I learned just how vital it is to love myself unconditionally. The moment I began to love myself, the more love I had to give and share with others. I was also able to receive more love. But then it’s not surprising really, because no one can love you more than you love yourself. You teach others exactly how to love and treat you by how you love and treat yourself. Yet most of us think that we’re being good and kind by putting ourselves last, whilst eventually secretly harbouring resentment.

I have learned that happiness truly is inside of me… it is not created by anything on the outside. By walking away from a majority of the material possessions I owned, I realised first hand that everything can be taken away except what is on the inside. Within this experience was the most beautiful lesson in acceptance. Now, I feel no fear in my ability to stand alone in this world, knowing without doubt that I can, and will, handle anything… and it was in truly knowing that I am capable of standing alone, that I found the most beautiful relationship and realised that I was the furthest from being alone that I could ever be.

I learned how to go from being in a loving relationship with myself, into being in a loving relationship with another. It was through the ups and downs that the most beautiful and powerful lessons were learned, which ultimately strengthened us beyond words. With Andy, I learned the essence of what it takes to create a deeply loving relationship – a Soul Mate relationship – which I now know without doubt is something that we can all create, not something we stumble upon when we meet someone who makes our heart skip a beat.

Essentially, I realised with absolutely certainty that I create my life – no longer does life simply ‘happen’ to me. Those events that are destined and not within my control, well, I can choose how to respond to them – with love or with fear. I choose love now, because I see what happens when I choose to respond with fear instead.

My truth is this: – I can choose to step out of my comfort zone as often as I wish, I can choose to step through fear, I can choose to have empowering beliefs, I can choose to allow others to hurt me, I can choose how to respond to any situation, I can choose to take responsibility for my life and my emotions, I can choose to be in great energy…… I can choose to create the life of my dreams… or… I can blame others for making my life unhappy. And even as I write that last sentence, I truly trust that you will connect with how ridiculous the latter option is.

I choose happiness… and now, I cannot see any aspect of my life that I do not create. Empowering beyond words!

Di xx

Is Happiness a Disease or a Disorder?!!

I’ve been studying (unofficially, unscientifically) about mental health. The desire amongst ‘the profession’ to classify various ‘conditions’, and then to set about labelling so many of us in order to (i) justify their existence (the profession, not the ‘condition) and (ii) to prescribe medical solutions is, at best, highly questionable. Yes, it has its place in more extreme cases, even then it has shown to be only part of a long term answer.  Read more about such classification here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders

Here’s something almost unbelieveable:

Research paper ‘A proposal to classify happiness as a psychiatric disorder’ Jnl Medical Ethics, 1992, by Richard Bentall.

It is proposed that happiness be classified as a psychiatric disorder and be included in future editions of the major diagnostic manuals under the new name: ‘major affective disorder, pleasant type’. In a review of the relevant literature, it is shown that happiness is statistically abnormal, consists of a discreet cluster of symptoms, is assocated with a range of cognitive abnormalities, and probably reflects the abnormal functioning of the central nervous system. One possible objection to this proposal remains – that happiness is not negatively valued. However, this objection is dismissed as scientifically irrelevant.
[End]

The use of the word normal and abnormal is fascinating. Pathologists often look for so called ‘normal ranges’ of health indicators. What they mean by normal is average.

What if we live in a world where average health (both mental and physical) is decidedly sub-optimal? This would make optimum health ‘abnormal’ according to such measures.

As such I entirely agree – happiness IS statistically abnormal, consists of a discreet cluster of symptoms, is assocated with a range of cognitive ‘abnormalities’, and probably reflects the abnormal functioning of the central nervous system.  In the sense that in the modern world, driven by time, outcomes, money, ego tends to block us from happiness – our cognitive ‘normality’ is far from happy.

In Robert Holden’s great book on Happiness, ‘Be Happy’ he makes the link between happiness and authenticity. Most people believe or feel that you cannot be inauthentic and happy. When people are authentic, they are happy. If only more doctors, psychiatrists, politicians, teachers, counsellors, coaches, leaders and HR Managers… knew this!